The Problem with a Snake, a Frog and my Knee

Snake Dreams
About 12 years ago, we were houseboating on Trinity Lake, and the kids saw a small snake in the water. I was on the left side of the boat, and it happened to be swimming right past me, so I had to pick it up. Now everybody knows that when you pick up a snake, you should grab him right behind his head so he can't turn around and stick his tongue out at you disrespectfully. Well I knew that but missed and picked him up closer to the middle of his body. The next five things were very quick, (to imagine how quick say this as fast as you can: "bite, bite, bite, bite, bite") but it seemed to happen in slow motion inside my head. First, the snake turned his little head, stuck his tongue out at me disrespectfully and bit my hand. My brain, quick as a wink said, "Oops, we didn't pick him up right". Second, he bit my hand again. My brain, now moving at the speed of sound said, "I think we should take action". Third, he bit my hand again. My brain, now working like an Intel dual-core 64 bit Pentium processor said "I have calculated with 99.9% accuracy that we should drop the object in our left hand". Fourth, he bit my hand again. My brain, now at light speed, sent a message, "Dearest Hand, please at your earliest convenience, release your grip. All the best, your friend the Brain." Finally he bit my hand a fifth time and I let go. He dropped into the water, swam a bit then turned his little head and stuck his tongue out at me disrespectfully.

Okay, that was stupid, and as Adrienne pointed out probably not such a good example for the children present. Now I'm older and smarter. For example, we saw a brown vine snake here the other day and I grabbed its tail. For such a skinny thing it was surprising how strong he was. Nothing happened; I don't think they bite. But that night, our nephew Matt had a wonderful dream. He was being attacked by a fer-de-lance which is a very dangerous snake. They grow to be about 4 or 5 feet, but in his dream was a seven footer and it was coming right at him. Just as it was about to bite him in the face, his Uncle Mark (me) grabbed the monster by its tail, and yanked hard, saving Matt's life. What a nice dream...

Jungle Ball
So what is the most dangerous thing in the Jungle? Snakes, scorpions, biting insects? Nope, its basketball. Last week the three "old and tall" guys (me being the tallest by a bit, and the oldest by far) played the five "young and short" guys. I'd like to say that the rules here are "loose" but there really aren't any rules. Sometimes the game is like Rugby except the ball is round, and the turf is concrete. Actually my knee was really not as bad as it looks, it was just a scab from a previous game that got scratched off on the cement and for some reason bled like crazy. I think it gave me an advantage because the tall old guys won that day.


De-bugging (?) the system.
Those of you who read my earlier blog about the Satellite know that by now, we are experts in dish repair. So the other morning, when the internet went down, I had no worries. I realized that it would take no more than six weeks, $400 or $500 dollars in phone calls to Advanced Technical Support, and some goofing around with antennae aiming programs that we don't really understand. Then it would start working again for some unknown reason. But this problem was different.
The computer reported that the signal strength was only 10%, whereas normally it is around 84%. So, Mateo and I looked at the dish, pushed it around a little bit and called it some names. As a result the signal dropped to 9%. He noticed it was dirty and got some Flash (Central American 409 Cleaner) and cleaned it up, but that didn’t work. Then I thought to look in the emitter. The emitter has a small rectangular hole it that is about 4 or 5 inches deep. I had to get a flashlight to be able to see all the way to the end. There was definitely something there; at first I thought it was a brown leaf. Then I realized it was a little frog. I coaxed him out with a stick and the signal was back to normal. I hope being radiated by the emitter all night won't give him headaches, or worse cause him to have highly mutated offspring. There are enough weird looking animals around here as it is.

Photos Around the "Creek"

Lately at Jaguar Creek:

We got a new name and a new sign...well actually the name is not official and the sign isn't new, its recyled from a sign that used to say "Jaguar Creek - Christian Environmental Center" from the very early days of Jaguar Creek. Mateo did a nice job carving the new words at the bottom "Mission & Conference Center"; we are sort of trying out this name to see how we like it. The sign is posted at the turn off from the dirt road to Ian Anderson's Caves Branch Resort.

Other woodworking news: We've hired a couple of men from Armenia Village to refinish some of the wooden furniture at Jaguar Creek...(we have a lot for them to do). Besides sanding and varnishing these dining tables, they also repaired the splits and tightened the legs up a bit.





Here's a view you've never seen before. From the office (left) you can now see the lodge (center). The area in between was pretty much just jungle until a week ago. So far everybody that has seen this new look, really likes it. It won't stay brown for long (even if we do nothing, when the rain comes it will be green!). There has been some discussion about a putting green....but we will probably just settle for a little grass and flowers.




Our cabin skylights were getting pretty shabby so we replaced them. The nice thing about the new ones is that they have the same form as the sheet metal used on the roof. Much nicer.









And last, one of my favorites....fans in the dining room. We had to create our own poles because the ceiling is so high. They work great and will be nice if the weather ever gets hot down here (ha).

The State Trooper, Border Patrol and Customs

What would not be a good thing

When I was 20, I was driving my little white 1966 Volkswagen Bug on Interstate 70, near Dillon Colorado, where I lived as a ski bum for a year. It was the middle of winter, and as I took my exit, I noticed two or three things. First, the off ramp was completely covered in snow; second, at the end of the off ramp there was a State Trooper patrol car. Now the Bug, as you probably know, has it's engine in back, providing extra weight over the drive wheels. This makes it a great car for driving on snow and ice. But the third thing I noticed as I braked was that it was probably 50/50 whether or not I was going to stop before I hit the State Trooper. Fortunately, thanks to the laws of physics and God (who designed the laws of physics in the first place) I stopped short of rear-ending the patrol car, although I was within 18 inches of it, which probably violated its notion of "personal space".

Unfortunately Mr. Trooper was not at the time distracted by a radio conversation, paperwork or a donut. Instead he saw the whole thing in his rear view mirror, and when he stepped out of his car and approached mine, he didn't look very happy. I don’t really remember his face, just his size – about as big as my VW Bug.
Mr. Trooper, growling with a redneck drawl: "You almost hit my car."
Me, eyes down, both hands on the wheel: "Yes sir."
Mr. Trooper, stating the obvious: "That would not be a good thing to hit my car."
Me, trying not to look like I was from California: "No sir, it wouldn't".
Apparently both my answers were correct, so he let me go.

Uninsured motorists from across the border that can’t speak our language.


I lost my right to complain about those uninsured illegal aliens. Tikal is an amazing, huge Mayan ruin in Guatemala. We visited there last month. On the way back, just before we got back into Belize, two border officers stopped us and asked for the papers for the car. I said "Oh and which papers might that be officer". Except I was speaking in Spanish, so it came out more like: "huh, er, I, wha?" They proceeded to tell me that I should have had a permit for the car to take it into Guatemala. (We found out later that you are required to buy car insurance when you cross the border.) I carefully explained to the men that when we crossed the border, there were no signs or people to tell us what to do, so after we got our car fumigated for bugs, we just drove through. Except in Spanish it came out more like: "Ah, er, paper no got, no know nothing". I asked them what I should do, and after giving me a look like: "How do you people even survive down here?" they let me go.


Officer, I swear I didn’t know there were T-shirts in the bag!

There are a number of items that you cannot import into Belize under any circumstances. The list includes global thermo-nuclear weapons, rocket propelled grenade launchers, heroin, and T-shirts that say "Jaguar Creek Belize". When we tried to bring our T-shirts in, the customs officer at the airport told us that we would have to apply for a license to import them through the Ministry of Finance. No problem, I thought, and I visited the office to find out what I needed to do. The secretary there told me "you can't bring printed T-shirts in the country." I told her about our non profit Christian ministry, how we help the poor in Belize and asked “wouldn’t the Government want to support that kind of activity?” She said that wasn’t her decision to make, and I could apply if I wanted to. So I went to Angeles Press where I bought the form I needed, filled it out and wrote a very compelling letter explaining the ten years of wonderful work of Jaguar Creek, our future plans to help the local children and the non-profit use of the T-shirts. I closed with a heartfelt desire to work in cooperation with the government and our tremendous respect for their regulations. It was really one of my better works of art, and apparently when the Minister of Finance read it he was so moved that he immediately denied our request.

So, now our only choice was to send them back to the US. Fortunately there was a team here that was headed back to the states. So we went back to Customs at the airport, showed them our friend’s airline ticket, and he gave us the two large duffle bags of T-shirts. That's right, he just gave them to us and we walked out of the secure area. Now we are standing there in line at the check-in counter maybe 100 yards from our car, no officers in sight, nothing to keep us from just walking out the door with our contraband. It was so hard to do the right thing. (Some of you reading this probably disagree about what the right thing to do was…I'll leave it to your imagination.)

Scorpions, Snakes and Biting Ants

Scorpions, Snakes and Biting Ants
(Two Stories About Keeping Cool Under Pressure – Sort of)

Definition of terms:

Trumpet Tree: Cecropia peltata. The local name, Trumpet Tree, comes from a tradition of the ancient Maya, who used the stems to make ceremonial trumpets. This tree has a symbiotic relationship with a species of ant, Azteca sp. which lives in the hollow chambers of the tree trunk. The ants are aggressive and will come out and bite anything that touches the tree inflicting painful stings.

Scorpion: A scorpion is an invertebrate animal with eight legs, belonging to the order Scorpiones in the class Arachnida. All scorpion species possess venom. In general, scorpion venom is described as neurotoxic in nature.

Fer-de-lance: One of the largest and deadliest of the poisonous snakes. It is a common Central American snake. This species is irritable, fast-moving and agile. It also has a reputation for being aggressive. The baby snakes have fully formed fangs and venom.

Bolas (from Spanish bola, "ball", also known as boleadoras) are a throwing weapon made of weights on the ends of interconnected cords, designed to capture animals by entangling their legs. They are most famously used by the South American gauchos.


First Story:
Occasionally (probably due to some random hormonal imbalance) I have the urge to go do something "manly" in the jungle. Today I decided to grab a machete and go out to an area of the trail that I knew was blocked by a fallen tree. (When we get a strong rain or windstorm, a few trees or branches always come down.) I arrived at the site, surveyed the situation and started hacking away. A machete is an amazing tool; it can trim a hedge or cut a log. On my first whack I cut into the core of the tree, revealing a surprising number of ants. It was a trumpet tree, and even though it was on our property, the ants looked at me like they thought it was their tree. I continued to cut it, but stepped back a bit, and avoided touching it with anything except the machete, just to be safe. Meanwhile I heard the sound of a howler monkey. Not a real howler monkey, just the sound, which was really a pretty poor imitation being done by Mateo as a joke. He soon showed up (with his machete) and started to help me clear the trail.


The following occurred in quick succession: First I discovered that I apparently hadn't stepped back far enough. Ants were biting my armpits. Second, Mateo said "Give me a machete quick". He had seen a Fer-de-lance and for some reason was unarmed. I found that due to the "armpit" ants, "small of the back" ants, and the "up my pant leg" ants, I could not gracefully move in his direction. I tried, stumbled into some crazy man-eating thorn-vine which stabbed my hand, and then I clumsily handed over my machete. Mateo used it to quickly kill the small snake. We brought it home, showed it off to the folks back at Jaguar Creek, and made the photo above.

Second Story:
Note: For those of you thinking about coming to Jaguar Creek, this incident did not occur in a "public area". We were in an "employee only" location, next to the workshop.

I don't know why, but the best internet connection we have is in the "Satellite Room", a very small room next to the dish which contains a computer on a small desk. It is the only place where the bandwidth is sufficient for video streams (and even then it requires a lot of patience). I also don't know why two people trying to survive in the jungle would have the slightest interest in looking at a TV show about other people trying to survive in the jungle, but we do like Survivor-Fiji. CBS, bless their hearts, lets us watch the episodes for free, online. Actually, it’s a little romantic, just the two of us in a cozy little room, watching the computer screen. We were sitting side by side, and I had the mouse in my hand so I could turn down the volume during the commercials (you know how that is).

The following occurred in quick succession: First something fell from the ceiling, hit Adrienne on the back and then landed on the seat of her chair. Adrienne thought: "It's a stick....no wait; sticks don't fall from the ceiling, scorpions do!” At that point she moved very quickly, so fast that she kicked the wire which was connected to the mouse. Now, you'll need either some knowledge of physics, or an understanding of how the Bola works. Needless to say, the mouse became a Bola, wrapping its cord securely around Adrienne's legs. Meanwhile, the Scorpion, equally frightened (after all, it didn't mean to fall from the ceiling) was running around under Adrienne as she frantically tried to escape the Bola-mouse. Ultimately, I was able to step on the scorpion, and Adrienne got free of the mouse. We picked up the scorpion, showed everybody and made the photo above. It was about 4.5 inches; even the local guys said it was a huge one.

Post Script: Earlier that day, I had been stacking some wood when I saw, and smashed, a small (2 inch) scorpion. When I told Adrienne about it, she was kind of disappointed that she didn't get to see it. "I'd kind of like to see one sometime" she said. Be careful what you wish for! :>)

What would you give up?

What would you give up for your religion?
At one end of the spectrum are people who believe in God, but don't do anything about it. A close second might be those people who give up a little time to attend church on Sunday, but don't let that affect the rest of their week. For your beliefs would you give up TV, or your car? How about just not using electricity at all? Old Order Mennonites do exactly that. Denying themselves many of the things that most people consider essential is part of their spiritual discipline.

We had the pleasure of visiting the Mennonite community of Springfield a few weeks ago. We went their partly out of curiosity and partly because we wanted to see what kind of fruit trees they had for sale. As we drove down the six mile dirt road from Hummingbird highway toward Springfield our first encounter was with a family in their horse drawn buggy on their way out. Since the road was narrow, we pulled over and stopped. They stopped too for a few minutes to chat. They were very friendly but the father did all the talking; we talked about where we were going, and where they were going. The couple had 5 children who all appeared to be under the age of 6! I wish I could show you a photo; the blond haired, blue eyed children were beautiful (and rare in Central America!) but we knew that many Mennonites prefer not to be photographed.


Springfield is a settlement of about 200 people. They all have large ranches that look like they could be in the US Midwest ---- except for the palm trees.
But what impressed us the most was the sawmill.




It is completely powered by horses. Eight horses walk in a circular pattern attached to a large hub that powers a system of belts and pulleys. This not only drives the large band saw, but also feeds the lumber through the saw and runs another small belt that carries away the sawdust.



Some of the logs were more than two feet in diameter. They were surprisingly fast at cutting them up into boards. All the planks were cut "by eye" but appeared to be very consistent in thicknesses. Who needs electricity?

To get them to the mill they use a horse drawn cart, but at the sawmill they drag the logs into place using a couple of oxen. Clever me - I noticed that the man driving the oxen gave commands in German. For example, he'd say "Erstle" and the pair would obediently turn to the right. I impressed Adrienne and our friends by telling them about my observation; then I casually mentioned it to the sawmill operator, so he too would know how smart I was. He said, "What do you mean he is talking German? Erstle is the name of the ox on the right." As it turns out, whichever name he calls, the oxen turn in that direction! After marveling at the sawmill for a half hour or so, we headed to the local nursery.


As it turned out, the "nursery" was just a small greenhouse that a man built in front of his ranch. When we arrived he was steering a plow that was being pulled by a horse ridden by his son. We were impressed with how friendly the man was. I think he would have stood there for two hours talking to us, if we wanted to. (Or maybe he was just tired of plowing.) We bought two trees, a mango, and an avocado, which we hope to grow at Jaguar Creek.
Well, I don't feel like God is telling me to give up electricity and gas powered machines, but I have to say I admire these Mennonites for taking their faith so seriously.

The emotional ups and downs of a Satellite Dish

The emotional ups and downs of a Satellite Dish

When we thought about going to live in a remote location in the jungle of Belize, we knew it would be rough, but we consoled ourselves with the knowledge that we would be able to contact friends and family "at a moments notice" through the power of technology of Skype. :>)
.
But then we found out that BTL (Belize Telecommunications Ltd.) had been blocking people from using Skype, because it messed up their greedy monopoly of the phone system. :>(

But then we realized that BTL could only block the internet service that they themselves provided; but not that wonderful little satellite system that serves Jag Creek. :>)

But then, we arrived at Jaguar Creek, and found the system was not working. And even with my 25 years of immersion in the technology of Silicon Valley, a Gerber tool and a blue anodized Mag Lite with fresh batteries, I couldn't fix it. :>(

But then, through the wonder of "click here if you forgot your password" technology, I was able to log into the former owner’s Direcway satellite account, find out that the account was overdue, and pay it online with my credit card. :>)

But that did not fix it. :>(

But then I found out the problem; the server (PC) connected to the satellite dish was not booting properly. So we sent it to the shop and got it fixed with some new RAM, and even a shiny new optical mouse. :>)

But that did not fix it. :>(

But then I called HughesNet (owners of Direcway) on their toll-free number, which luckily for BTL was not free at all from Belize, and spoke to a nice call center man with an East Indian accent who told me what to do. :>)

But that did not fix it. :>(

But then I called again, worked with a second call center man in India and he gave me more, better things to try. :>)

But that did not fix it. :>(

But then I called a third time, and I was promoted to the Holy Grail of call center support – Advanced Technical Support. His name was Robb (with two b’s). He was a little cranky, and said that the other guys made some mistakes when they talked to me, but you could tell that he was really smart. He asked me several important questions, and I think I did a really great job of answering them. In the end he said that he’d send out a service truck :>)

But then, he discovered that I was not in Texas, but in a remote jungle location in Belize. “How can that be?” he said, “This says you are in Texas”, "Why are you in Belize?". I told him, “I don’t know exactly why I’m here, but God told me to go to Belize; He didn’t tell me to go to Texas"

So, the truck never made it here and that did not fix it. :>(

But then my Internet Café manager told me of a place in Spanish Lookout. “It’s either Computer Ranch, or Ranch Computer” he said. (He couldn’t find the number in his 2004 phone book, but we have the latest edition here at JC.) I called and sure enough, the guy told me that he’d take a look at it. He said he’d charge me “an arm and a leg” if I made him drive down to Jag Creek, but I could bring the system to him and he’d check it out :>)

Before we tried that, someone else mentioned that the transmitter/reciever might be dirty. So I took the dish apart and cleaned it with a Q-tip. I did not use a Latin American Q-tip which are hard and scratchy and make you think that you just punctured your ear drum; I used a real Q-tip which is made with 100% pure cotton and has 50% more soft cotton at the tip than any other swab. (I was confident that my careful swab selection would fix the dish. :>)

But that did not fix it. :>(

Then something wonderful happened. My lovely mechanical wife (I'm talking about her aptitude, not her construction) was going to help me dismantle the Satellite to take it to Computer Ranch (or Ranch Computer, whatever the case may be). But first we decided to re-point the transmitter. To do that we had to put in our zip code. That was a bit of a problem since Belize doesn't use zip codes, so we just chose one from Texas. After careful adjusting, we were able to improve the signal strength from 86% to 85% (Oh, wait that’s not an improvement is it....did I mention that we really didn't know what we were doing?). Then, for fun, we started the system up again and a miracle happened – it worked. :>)

Why is it working? She says its becuase we told the software that we are really in Texas. Or maybe Robb sent the truck after all, and we just missed seeing it. But I say it is because there is no softer or safer swab than Q-tips cotton swabs....ideal for a multitude of uses.

A Day in the Life

Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Well at 6:30 AM the first thing that Adie and I saw in the morning was each other, which was nice.
The second thing, unfortunately was this toilet. It’s okay, but doesn’t always have that fresh clean Pine Sol scent, if you know what I mean.
Since it wasn’t raining, we decided to go for a run. So we got dressed (shorts and t-shirts) and then did our morning ritual of applying OFF!.

Adrienne likes to use the “Tropical Fresh” around her face and head, and the “Deep Woods”, on her arms and legs. I normally just use the “Deep Woods” everywhere. As you can see in the photo, we have used ¾ of the bottle already!


The run was lovely. This photo is the road leading into Jaguar Creek. In parts of it there is a canopy of green. The road was a little wet, but not too muddy. We ran out to the main highway, down the highway a bit, and then back for a total of about 30 minutes.
When we got back we hung up our slightly muddy shoes on the rack (set of nails) that Matt made for us yesterday and sat in front of the fan to cool off since it was a little humid.

Okay, the shower may not look like Better Homes and Gardens, but it does have plenty of hot water. And Adrienne made sure that we have lots of good soaps and conditioners. I take a “Navy” shower, that is, I turn the water off while I soap up….(hmmm, maybe that is more detail than you really wanted to know….).

Of course, we also have a sink for brushing the teeth, etc. And you might notice there is even a drinking water filter attached to it. However, like my Dad, we have discovered that maintaining these filters is a pain, and we are probably just going to get rid of them. Most people prefer bottled water anyway.


After showering and dressing, we headed for the main lodge and saw some of the workers like Matt Lavin (left) and Emiliano (right).




Okay, here’s the part where we are NOT roughing it. All of our meals are prepared for us. This morning we got our coffee first, and then later, when the bell rang, we went to breakfast. This morning we had some orange juice, freshly baked muffins, cereal and fruit.




Following breakfast, Matt headed off into the jungle with Steve and Mateo to clear the perimeter. This is accomplished by walking the perimeter of the property with machetes and cutting down bushes, small trees (and occasionally a big fallen one) so that our property boundary is obvious. I haven’t included a photo of that because, well, I just wasn’t there. But Matt tells me it is very difficult, tiring, manly work.



I headed off to what is perhaps not so difficult, tiring or manly; to work in the office.
The commute this morning was pretty nice…nice weather, no traffic. We are so happy to have Internet here now; it is great not to have to drive to town to connect.

Adrienne headed off to the laundry room to take inventory and sort through all of the linens. This turned out to be an all day job, and since some of the blankets and sheets are older than others, trying to determine what to keep or discard was challenging. Anyway, she told me it was difficult, tiring, womanly work.


After a couple of hours in the office, I headed to Spanish Lookout with Tono to buy tools at a hardware store there. It was a 45 minute drive, but worth it, because the prices were lower than in Belmopan, and we were buying $4000 BZ worth of stuff ($2000 US dollars). Included was a gasoline powered pressure washer, lawn mower, gas weed eater, compressor, and various power tools. We returned with the truck full of stuff.



At that time Adrienne was still in the laundry room, then soon headed for the office to shop on line for uniforms for the staff. She found some nice skirts for the ladies at Target that were only $19.99. And she is ordering Jaguar Creek T-shirts.

Somewhere along the way, Matt and Adrienne had lunch. I don’t have a photo of it, because I wasn’t there; I was in Spanish Lookout at the time. I did run into the kitchen and have a piece of cold chicken, bread and butter. Not great, but it got me through the afternoon.

Around 4:30 we quit working, and decided to walk to the Blue Hole. After we re-applied our OFF! we headed out.

The Blue Hole is a 25 foot natural pool, so named for the color of the water. Like Jaguar Creek, the water comes from an underground source flows for awhile and then disappears again in the earth. The water is cool and clear.

The walk took an hour, so when we returned Adrienne went to start dinner. The cook had prepared spaghetti sauce, home baked bread with garlic butter on it, a green salad and muffins (probably from this morning). Adie cooked the noodles and heated everything up for us.

Sometimes I wonder if the three of us are going to get tired of eating with the three of us, but so far it’s fine. And Matt has been great about setting the table and helping wash dishes every night.

This evening I spent a little more time in the kitchen baking desiccant which I hope will help protect our cameras, the guitar and some other things that we don’t want the humidity to ruin. Now it’s 9:30 and we have settled into our usual evening routine that looks something like this:

Okay, it doesn’t look exactly like that right now, because I’m actually on my computer, and this photo was taken last night. But take my word for it, Adrienne and Matt look pretty much like this every night. Both of them have new books that they are into, and are reading a lot!

As is normal around this time, Adie just looked at her watch to see if it is “an acceptable time” to go to bed. Normally that would be about 9PM or later, so she is ready to go.

We like the new mosquito net that Adrienne brought down here (one for Matt too). It has more than 600 holes per square inch which means “no see-ums” cannot get in. We like that. When we first get in bed the sheets feel sort of damp. We don’t like that. But I have noticed that later in the night, once we have warmed up the bed, the sheets seem dry. At night we hear lots of insect sounds, and occasionally Howler Monkeys which make a very weird noise I really don’t know how to describe; you need to come down here and hear it. Well, that’s my “photo journal” of today; just so you have an idea of what life is like for us -- Mark.