The emotional ups and downs of a Satellite Dish

The emotional ups and downs of a Satellite Dish

When we thought about going to live in a remote location in the jungle of Belize, we knew it would be rough, but we consoled ourselves with the knowledge that we would be able to contact friends and family "at a moments notice" through the power of technology of Skype. :>)
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But then we found out that BTL (Belize Telecommunications Ltd.) had been blocking people from using Skype, because it messed up their greedy monopoly of the phone system. :>(

But then we realized that BTL could only block the internet service that they themselves provided; but not that wonderful little satellite system that serves Jag Creek. :>)

But then, we arrived at Jaguar Creek, and found the system was not working. And even with my 25 years of immersion in the technology of Silicon Valley, a Gerber tool and a blue anodized Mag Lite with fresh batteries, I couldn't fix it. :>(

But then, through the wonder of "click here if you forgot your password" technology, I was able to log into the former owner’s Direcway satellite account, find out that the account was overdue, and pay it online with my credit card. :>)

But that did not fix it. :>(

But then I found out the problem; the server (PC) connected to the satellite dish was not booting properly. So we sent it to the shop and got it fixed with some new RAM, and even a shiny new optical mouse. :>)

But that did not fix it. :>(

But then I called HughesNet (owners of Direcway) on their toll-free number, which luckily for BTL was not free at all from Belize, and spoke to a nice call center man with an East Indian accent who told me what to do. :>)

But that did not fix it. :>(

But then I called again, worked with a second call center man in India and he gave me more, better things to try. :>)

But that did not fix it. :>(

But then I called a third time, and I was promoted to the Holy Grail of call center support – Advanced Technical Support. His name was Robb (with two b’s). He was a little cranky, and said that the other guys made some mistakes when they talked to me, but you could tell that he was really smart. He asked me several important questions, and I think I did a really great job of answering them. In the end he said that he’d send out a service truck :>)

But then, he discovered that I was not in Texas, but in a remote jungle location in Belize. “How can that be?” he said, “This says you are in Texas”, "Why are you in Belize?". I told him, “I don’t know exactly why I’m here, but God told me to go to Belize; He didn’t tell me to go to Texas"

So, the truck never made it here and that did not fix it. :>(

But then my Internet Café manager told me of a place in Spanish Lookout. “It’s either Computer Ranch, or Ranch Computer” he said. (He couldn’t find the number in his 2004 phone book, but we have the latest edition here at JC.) I called and sure enough, the guy told me that he’d take a look at it. He said he’d charge me “an arm and a leg” if I made him drive down to Jag Creek, but I could bring the system to him and he’d check it out :>)

Before we tried that, someone else mentioned that the transmitter/reciever might be dirty. So I took the dish apart and cleaned it with a Q-tip. I did not use a Latin American Q-tip which are hard and scratchy and make you think that you just punctured your ear drum; I used a real Q-tip which is made with 100% pure cotton and has 50% more soft cotton at the tip than any other swab. (I was confident that my careful swab selection would fix the dish. :>)

But that did not fix it. :>(

Then something wonderful happened. My lovely mechanical wife (I'm talking about her aptitude, not her construction) was going to help me dismantle the Satellite to take it to Computer Ranch (or Ranch Computer, whatever the case may be). But first we decided to re-point the transmitter. To do that we had to put in our zip code. That was a bit of a problem since Belize doesn't use zip codes, so we just chose one from Texas. After careful adjusting, we were able to improve the signal strength from 86% to 85% (Oh, wait that’s not an improvement is it....did I mention that we really didn't know what we were doing?). Then, for fun, we started the system up again and a miracle happened – it worked. :>)

Why is it working? She says its becuase we told the software that we are really in Texas. Or maybe Robb sent the truck after all, and we just missed seeing it. But I say it is because there is no softer or safer swab than Q-tips cotton swabs....ideal for a multitude of uses.